The Mourner’s Bill of Rights
Each person will develop different ways to cope with their grief. The way you deal with grief may or may not be the same as your family or friends. Some will reach out to others for help, while some will keep to themselves. You do not have to accept the help from others if you do not think it will be benefiting you. You have a right to express your feelings. In his article titled, The Mourner’s Bill of Rights, Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. explains how others can and cannot help you through this difficult process. To read more on this article click the following link http://griefwords.com/index.cgi?action=page&page=articles%2Fmourners.html&site_id=202
Grief Care is the aftercare division for the families of Local Cremation in Dallas, Texas. For more information about individual grief counseling, please call our office at 214-343-4040.
Grief Journey
Often people who are grieving think that there is a beginning and an end. However, grieving is a journey one must go through and embrace after the loss of a loved one. The journey will have its most unbearable moments and will have its pleasant times…even a laugh or two. Dr. Alan Wofelt, an expert on Grief and the Study of Grief has written an aticle entitles “The Journey of Grief” that specifically addresses this process. You will find practical appliacations and even an important recommendation, to start new traditions and a new self-identity. You may read further by accessing the articl by clicking here–>http://griefwords.com/index.cgi?action=page&page=articles%2Fjourney.html&site_id=202 GriefCare is the aftercare service of Local Cremation to the families it serves.
Ten Coping Tips for that Special Time of Year
For some, this season is full of joy, anticipation and excitement. Certainly family gatherings, cooking, baking, creative costumes and shopping for gifts bring a smile to many children and adults alike. Grief, however, does not take a holiday even with all the colorful and cheerful distractions.
We all have family traditions that define how we celebrate this time of year. After the death of a loved one, the holiday season may not feel or look the same. Traditions and rituals may bring a tear or sadness rather than joy or peace.
Our challenge becomes to find what brings us comfort in the midst of our mourning. These tips may help as you find what works for you
1. Begin with understanding that the holidays will be different this year. Adjusting to life without your loved one can drain energy and increase emotional reactions. Be prepared for a chain reaction of memories and emotions that may be triggered by a favorite song or cherished ornament. Find a person, family or friend who can listen as you reminisce through your tears.
2. Be kind to yourself by getting plenty of rest. Grief brings on fatigue and limits your physical and emotional resources.
3. Let your family know what brings you comfort and peace. Attending gatherings, parties, and get-togethers may bring more discomfort. After the loss of a loved one, it is usual for people to experience a sense of yearning or searching for the person who has died. This creates some restlessness, not wanting to be alone yet, not wanting to be with anyone.
4. Do what makes you comfortable, not what well-meaning friends or others think you should do. Negotiate with family and friends about what gatherings you will attend and for how long. We are all unique and our grief needs are unique. You may find it helpful to take your own car so you can leave when you are ready, or stay if you choose.
5. Talk to your family and discuss how you will observe the holidays this year. Traditions can be very comforting. You may wish to observe some family traditions and forgo others for now. You can always pick them up again later.
6. Consider a new tradition, in memory of your loved one. Some families wrap and give each other mementoes or small reminders of their loved ones.
7. Allow friends and family to help when they offer. Learn to say “Yes”.
8. Ask for help when you need it. Let others say ‘Yes”.
9. Take time for yourself. Quite, introspective time allows you to find your inner strengths for coping.
10. Lastly, set realistic goals for yourself. And reserve the right to change your mind at the last minute.
Know that we do not get over grief, we go through grief. Remember your loved one by sharing stories with your family, and remembering the gifts they brought to you that will always be with you.
written by: Valerie Sanchez, LMSW
GriefCare is the aftercare resource for clients of Local Cremation.